The Kiss of Death
by BlameItOnTheLoveOfRockAndRoll
Summary: Duncan began to think why the hell he chose health class as one of his electives. "And you and Courtney will be showing us the procedures of CPR." A shriek from a brunette later, and he remembered that was why. D/C ONESHOT


_**When I should be studying for my methods test on my day off, I instead go make this? Mehh, I don't like the fact that topic is logarithms and exponential functions anyway. Argh, maths methods is such a bitch.**_

**_Anyhoos, I have noticed I have never done a DxC fic one-shot before... okay well I have but it turned into a two-shot. Well idc, here is the new story! AND this is pretty pointless and all, but I recommend you all go to Youtube and check out, 'Sassy Gay Friend.' I swear the guy is such a pisser, "WHAT WHAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING"..."SHE'S A STUPID BITCH, SHE'S A STUPID BITCH!" ROFL XD_**

**_Disclaimer: I wouldn't have to study for this methods test if I owned the series. _**

* * *

"First aid is important to all of us as-"

BORED shouted Duncan's mind; and the sound of yawning escaped his mouth. He couldn't believe that he attended today's lesson of health and human development class, or all the other health classes to be frank. Now that he thought about it, why the hell was he even in here? It wasn't like he was planning to be a nurse or something, now that seemed so wrong to him. Maybe a bad boy doctor seemed pretty awesome, but a bad boy nurse? Yeah… hell no.

He hardly attended class to begin with, yet here he was in this subject he despised very much. So why did he even choose this as one of his electives?

Before he could dwell into that matter, his thoughts were interrupted by a brunette that was sitting in front of him, raising her hand and answering a question his stupid egotistic teacher had asked. "The most common form of emergency procedures that is required for first aid training is cardiopulmonary resuscitation," she stated matter of factly.

He began to smile smugly, his arms crossed across his chest. _Oh yeah, that's why,_ he proudly mused to himself.

Yes, he had decided long ago when it was time for subject selections to go with his heart _and_ head and chose health as one of his electives because the person he liked… to annoy had chosen it. And although he found it pretty boring and all, it helped him learn about why girls were always in a PMSy mood… even if it was in exact and raw detail.

How Duncan's face had scrunched up from that day, how his wicked and stupid teacher decided to show slideshows on the menstrual cycle itself. He didn't sleep comfortably that night, how could he when he had been traumatized over some other kind of blood that occurred in women, and not him?

"Excellent use on the terminology Courtney," the idiotic teacher known as Mr. Chris McLean proclaimed, giving the over-achiever a thumbs up. "Since you are on a role here, why don't you explain to us why it is used."

Duncan had noticed oddly why that buffoon had said that sentence in his direction.

"Well since you asked, cardiopulmonary resuscitation, also known as CPR, is used on people in cardiac arrest in order to oxygenate the blood and maintain a cardiac output to keep vital organs alive," Courtney recited perfectly.

_Oh how I would show her the ways that I would keep her alive,_ Duncan told himself, purring at the perverted thought he had conjured up.

His purring had caught the attention of said girl and she twirled around in her seat, giving him a glare with her gunmetal orbs of vision. Duncan couldn't help but observe how her shoulder length caramel-coloured hair looked glossy today. But of course, the royal highness had to have the first word.

"I don't know what the hell is going through your mind right now…"

If that was how it was going to be, then two can play this game. And he was sure that he would win no doubt.

"Princess, if you knew what went on in my mind, you wouldn't be able to keep your hands off of me," he replied coolly, smirking his infamous smirk.

That was all he needed to get her fired up.

"This is my favourite subject Duncan, and you are distracting me from learning about it."

"Please, this is your favourite subject because I am in this class. And if I'm correct, you said _"my favourite subject Duncan,"_ and that I am distracting you from learning about me? Then by all means, keep making notes about how awesome I am."

"Let me correct that statement as yours, since one) you are one of the reasons why I read coming to health class, and two) you are not hot."

"You know what the funny thing is? I never said hot."

"Yes you did Duncan. You said hot, I'm not stupid."

"Actually I said awesome, but I know hot fits in too."

"Well… uh… um… you know what? Shut up!"

Victory is mine!

"Would you two just stop making googly eyes at each other and focus on what is more important here? ME?" Mr. McLean had said, annoyed with a hint of mischievous glinting in his raven eyes.

"Shove it McLean," Duncan shouted from his seat directly to his teacher.

"Well if that's the case, then I believe you Duncan have just volunteered yourself to do a demonstration so please stand up and head to the front of the room," the teacher exclaimed to him, hiding a mysterious smirk on his facial features.

"And why the hell do I have to?" the green-mohawked boy retorted with delight.

"So you being a pain in everyone's backside would finally disappear," Courtney stated, pleased with her comeback. Pity, it could never ever compete with someone that had been used to comments like this so many times, especially if said person is a juvenile delinquent who pestered you all day long.

"Well then why don't you get that pole out of your uptight butt while you're at it," he smirked, winking at her as he made his way to the front of the class. He wouldn't admit to anyone, but he loved the way her freckles would pop up and become visible on her smooth face whenever she glared. And there was only one person she ever glared at, so deep down, he felt a little bit honoured to have accomplished that fate.

"And Courtney, you shall be my other volunteer, since you know a lot about the fields of cardio-thingy-ma-bob," Mr. McLean articulated, the hidden smirk now making its way on his face.

Duncan reached to the front, noticing one thing he should've noticed the first time he attended this class at the start of the year – he was the only boy. Present. And the only boy written in the roll call to be in this certain health class.

"Why of course sir, I will do it because _it is the right thing to do,_" the brunette stated, sarcasm in her voice as she said the last few words, staring at the cerulean-eyed boy at the front while she said it. "And also because I was a C.I.T.," she added, happily.

Duncan chuckled to himself, knowing she was making fun of him. He had to admit, he found that a bit hot. He even found it hot how she kept her distance from him, even when the jackass of a teacher kept trying to move her closer to him.

"So why are we up here?" Courtney questioned with a cocked eyebrow, still trying to maintain her distance from the neanderthal a few feet away from her.

"Yeah, what gives? I never volunteered for this; I was 'forced' to do this because of you, you pointless, idiotic, son of a-" Duncan began with, but was held back by Courtney, who had without realising it placed her hands on his chest to refrain him from pouncing on the teacher. His sudden rage had changed to his flirtatious ways, smirking at the girl in front of him.

"Told you you couldn't keep your hands off of me," he stated coolly, raising his eyebrows in a flirty manner.

Before Courtney could retort back, Mr. McLean cut in between the bickers of the two, his grin from ear to ear. "Speaking of hands off of the other, that is why you two are up here. You two have volunteered to give everyone here today a demonstration."

Yep, why the hell did he choose to be in this class?

"About…" Duncan motioned for his narcissistic teacher to continue. If it had something to do with Courtney doing some _stuff_ to him, he would love health class forever, and choose it next year as well.

The teacher glared at him. "Stop interrupting me, and don't rush me, I'm bringing suspense here! Anyhoos thanks to two certain hormonal teenagers…"

Duncan felt his face go red, but you couldn't blame him if the girl he had a thing for made him act lovey dovey and lusty combined. He turned to Courtney to notice how she turned her head away. This made his insides act all funny, but he just shrugged it off, replacing it with a smirk. He never heard what other crap McLean was on about, however he tuned in at the right time, when he said the one thing that was worthwhile during his time in this class.

"… and you and Courtney will be showing us the procedures of CPR."

Cue two evil smirks, a girl shrieking and protesting to not be a part of this, and gasps from the rest of the girls sitting in their desks, glaring at said girl and wishing it was them, not her.

Duncan thought back to his previous question and nodded vigorously at his answer: because he remembered that was why.

"WHAT!" Courtney boomed, realising her hands were still placed on Duncan's torso, and instead shoved him to the ground, while she headed to where Mr. McLean was standing. "I will not under any circumstances be a part of this. You cannot make me do this."

Despite being face first on the ground, Duncan was still able to say out a retort. "You know you want to."

"I do not! And shut up ogre!"

"You don't have to do it; I just wanted both of you to shut up. And it's in the curriculum that a CPR performance has to undergo, so why not choose the polar opposites that want to bite off the other's head? And come on, I want some drama people, drama!" Mr. McLean pointed out.

Since he didn't get much of a reaction from the two of them, he decided to take a different approach. "Duncan, I don't even need to tell you why you should do this because you want to do this anyway… especially with her," he stated, mumbling the last part to himself. "And Courtney, if you don't do this, I'll fail you and tell all the summer camp associations you failed at first aid training, especially in carbohydrate-watcha-ma-call-it."

Duncan smirked at the teacher, satisfied that although he hated the guy in every possible way, and at least understood his main mission. While Courtney stood there shocked, still bewildered at the fact that her teacher had just blackmailed. She still took it to offence. "You wouldn't."

"Try me," the teacher replied with, giving a cocky grin to her, then a thumbs up to Duncan, who in return gave a nod and smirked his ass off.

After for what seemed like eternity, Courtney sighed dejectedly, nodding slightly. "I'll do it."

"I didn't quite hear that. What?" Duncan enquired to her, wanting to piss himself laughing from her response.

"Sir, do you want me to give a demonstration about how boy's kiwis are castrated?" Courtney bellowed, giving the delinquent a threatening look.

The teacher refrained her from attacking the boy any further. "As much as I would love to watch that since I get paid for something like that, save your chemistry for this instead. I don't wanna get any complaints that say I am a teacher that doesn't care for his student's well beings. And don't even bother saying anything further to that."

"Sooo… how is this going to work out?" Courtney asked, unsure if she had regretted taking part of this. Of course she did, she was practically forced by peer pressure to 'kiss' the one person who irritated her. How he would never stop teasing her for this.

"Hmm, well since Duncan is on the floor still in pain, he can be the patient and you can be the paramedic or whoever that brings him back to life," Mr. McLean announced, satisfied.

"The way you say it sounds so cliché dude, even in my books," Duncan replied from the floor, although he liked the fact that it was Courtney that would give it to him and not the other way around. Now that he thought about it, he didn't care either way because they would have to do it anyway. How he would keep taunting the drama queen about this for a long time.

"That's the point. She's going to give you the kiss of death," Mr. McLean articulated, that infamous grin coming back on his face.

"Like the way that sounds," Duncan agreed with, glancing up at Courtney. "Watcha waiting for Princess? I'm dying here, so come bring me back to life with that kiss of death of yours."

"Oh how I wish you were dying right now," Courtney mumbled to herself, although Duncan heard it, which caused him to give a smug smile. He fixed his position on the floor, now lying down straight and giving a quick wink before shutting his teal eyes shut.

The former C.I.T went on her knees, fighting with her inner self to just run away, although something inside of her told her to stay put or she would regret it. Remembering her first aid training skills, she briskly rubbed her knuckles against his sternum. She remembered very well that if the victim -or in this case, the muscly and toned bonehead that was lying in front of her- woke, moaned or moved, she could stop. But knowing Duncan, she knew he wouldn't do that.

_That jackass,_ she thought timidly.

After no sudden movements from the boy, Courtney sighed and moved on to the next step by beginning the rescue breathing. She opened Duncan's airway, using the head-tilt method carefully. She noted how his multiple facial piercings had glistened in the sunlight, distracting her focus. She put her ear to the delinquent's open mouth, also noting his breath smelled like peppermint and the smell of musk. She glanced down to see any chest movements, once again noting that his chest was not going up and down. Although she shouldn't be thinking stuff like that, she observed how fit and toned Duncan was, even with that ridiculous skull jumper on.

Courtney shook her head, trying to maintain her focus in hand, and continued with the CPR rules, and began to listen for air flowing through his mouth or nose. Strangely, nothing came out at all.

_What is he playing at?_ She wondered, somewhat concerned.

She knew what the next step was, but didn't want to go into that just yet. She glanced up to Mr. McLean, whose eyes were widened, expecting and waiting for the kiss of death to come, and how every other girl was giving her jealous glares because _she_ out of all girls was going to give the bad boy the kiss of death. Smirking a little, she decided to mess with everyone's head a little.

Courtney began the chest compressions, placing the heel of her hand in the middle of Duncan's chest. How her arm had goosebumps just from the sudden touch of his chest she couldn't comprehend why. She put her other hand on top of the other, fingers interlaced. She compressed the chest, performing around ten compressions at this rate, while allowing the chest to completely recoil before the next compression.

She glanced back up again at her teacher, whose smirk was now with a glare. She smirked in return, only for it to be turned upside down as she saw her teacher mouth the words, "Fail," to her.

Argh, damnit. Why is the world so cruel and unfair to me?

"It's now or never," Mr. McLean mouthed to her again, crossing his arms across his shirt, close to pissing himself laughing.

"Life's a bitch," Courtney mumbled to herself, before beginning the next step she had been dreading. She began to slightly turn his head, noting that she could've sworn he saw the ogre in front her begin to smile, even with his mouth open. She began to pinch his nose gently, leaned her head forward, and made a seal over Duncan's mouth with hers. She took a huge breath again and gave him the breath that was big enough to make his chest rise. She let the chest fall, relieved that giving Duncan the kiss of death wasn't as bad as she thought.

Except even after that, Duncan was still not moving. "Duncan? Duncan, stop fooling around. Duncan? Duncan?"

_OMG I killed him!_ Her mind yelled, alarm bells ringing inside her. _I don't want him to die; I like him… when he isn't around. Yeah, that's right._

"Crap, what have you done? Now my whole career is ruined!" Mr. McLean shouted at the C.I.T., fearing more for himself than the non-breathing form of Duncan that lay on the floor.

If the mini angel and devil that represented her conscious came, now would had been the right time. As much as she disliked what the guy in front of her had done –which was a lot to say- she still found him somewhat a person that deserved a second chance nonetheless.

Courtney deliberated with herself that maybe if she repeated herself, he would eventually come through. Eventually. She began to pinch his nose again and leaned forward, but put her hands on each side of his face, and placed her mouth on top of hers. She repeated this a few times, unsuccessful. She felt a few tears prick up, dripping down her visage, mumbling to herself, "I didn't mean what I said about you dying now."

She began to try one more time, this time holding her mouth on his longer. After ten seconds, she almost pulled away when she felt a pair of arms snake around her waist, pushing her down closer to him. She widened her onyx eyes when she found out what the hell had happened, and also feeling her tongue having contact with his tongue.

_That bastard tricked me!_

She tried to pull away, but Duncan moved one of his hands on Courtney's hair, feeling how silky smooth it was like he had described it moments before. Trying her best to surrender, she failed miserably, shutting her eyelids and leaning closer to him, deepening the kiss as their tongues were having a war of their own.

All the girls were shocked with what they had just seen, and their teacher opened his mouth, surprised that she actually succumbed to this. However, after a few more seconds, he got entirely bored, realising now all they did was just suck each other's faces.

"Class dismiss, this rating is increasing dramatically if we all stay here," he affirmed to the rest of the girls in the class.

All the girls left; still were staring at Duncan and Courtney making out, all heartbroken. After a while, they both went to get some air, still not believing what just happened.

"Whoa," was all Duncan could say.

"Yeah," was all Courtney could say, fanning herself lightly.

"That was some kiss of death."

"Yes, yes it was. By the way…" PUNCH went her fist to his arm.

"Ow! What the hell!"

"That was for making me believe you had died on me!"

"Aww, is the Princess actually concerned about the ogre?"

"You're not my ogre!"

"I never said that I was yours… unless you want me to."

"… Ohhh damn it!"

"Sooo… did you mean it?"

"Mean what?"

"What you said, that you didn't mean what you said about me wanting to literally die."

"What? No, I never said that."

"Princess, although this subject still bores me, I'm beginning to enjoy health and human development class, you know if this keeps happening between me and you."

Duncan got the reaction he wanted, a blush and a small smile painted on her face, making her freckles more present than when she was angry. Courtney saw the bad boy at first give a smirk, which then turned into a genuine smile, his azure eyes boaring into her ebony ones. For once she was actually glad that she could enjoy health class now, and was looking forward to her next class too.

"Duncan, do you really mean that?"

"Of course Princess, and if it's worth it, you can give me CPR any day."

While meanwhile, Mr. McLean left the classroom last, dialing a number on his cell. "Hey Chef, guess what?" he proclaimed. "It worked! They thought it was part of the school curriculum this year! This should help get me the school's best teacher of the year," he added, holding a mini video camera in his hands.

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_**I sometimes wonder if my health and human development class has to do something like that... god I hope not. There is only three guys and the rest are all girls. And if my friends are reading this, no this story is NOT BASED ON ME AND LORD BOLDEMORT! And no Rebekah, this isn't a dream of mine either! So sorry to disappoint :D**_

**_Well anyhoos, I'm off. Sleep deprived and a maths test = doomsday for me._**

**_SMIGGLE!  
R&R!_**


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